Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
COCAINE IS GR8
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