i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The uberlube is also flammable
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
