There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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