One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
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I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship