ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.