If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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