I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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