He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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