He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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