Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
