: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
