She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
