I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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