FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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