hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
