I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who put my cat in the fridge?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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