Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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