i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
