Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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