Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
