1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
