Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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