The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
