im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My legs feel like baby dolphins
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
