So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize