You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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