your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Randomize
