would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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