The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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