So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
