So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
