She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
