If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
