just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We need to get me chipped asap
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
