The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
