he puts the penis in happiness.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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