He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
