we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
