i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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