Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
