i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
