STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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