ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
