Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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