if i died would you start the facebook group?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
