Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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