You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
