Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
