i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
