Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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