i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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