Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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