youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
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