we're blogging at a bar
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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