What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
