Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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