i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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