I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
