I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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