After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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