I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
