Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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